The Guy Who’s Keeping the Minutes

TTTO “The Guy Who Changes the Light Bulbs” by Carla Ulbrich

[Chorus]
The guy who’s keeping the minutes, changes everything
He makes things as they were never, and retconning he brings
He’s got power, he makes meaning, he makes sure of things
The guy who’s keeping the minutes — changes everything

See — the thing he wrote that you have said has not been said by you
And while you might agree with that, it’s not a thing to do
And here’s another problem for which there’s no excuse —
The yes to no — oh I don’t know — that’s a thin-veiled ruse

[Chorus]

When the guy who’s keeping the minutes has a boss who’s a tightwad
The only project not cancelled, is that guy’s — I am so glad!
I have by now know not to read it on the cellphone in my car
Sometimes it is funny — sometimes mad is all we are

It’s might as well be French or Chinese, or a contract done by Faust
When you read them, you’ll be yelling, so please do so in your house
And whatever may befall you, you will never see them raw
For the edits to the minutes are the things that make them go!

[Chorus]

So the guy who every morning, discusses some new paper
Or comes into your cube with a new story of a caper
Is the guy who’s taking the notes, acting like he’s your confesser
And gets you talking for hours like you do with your hairdresser

If you’re feeling unimportant, like you might as well go fishing
Then just go, and then read the minutes — it’s not like you’ll be missing
Anything that’s true’s in minutes — that’s the most important job
When we’re missing, we can’t miss him — though the minutes sound odd!
He’s got power, he makes meanings — he’s practically a god
The guy who’s keeping the minutes has the most important job

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