My eBay Bid Has Lost

TTTO Brooke Lunderville’s “The Giant Squid Has Not”

Wanted to buy some off-coloured socks
Memorabilia and maybe some rocks
Got here some shocks as the fate cruelly mocks
Soon I will feel like this is a hoax
But my eBay bid
Yeah, my eBay bid
My eBay bid has lost

No, my eBay bid was otherwise blown
My wish for that item was not alone
Paying some more would require a loan
That sniper was surely a creep
When I thought that the item was cheap

Donald-duck clocks are sold by strange folks
Highschool jackets sold by ex-jocks
Down at the docks I bought me a box
Sold it on eBay, bid on some chalks
But my eBay bid
Yeah, my eBay bid
My eBay bid has lost

In the stock it does not exist
It’s not on my Amazon’s wishlist
And surely my desire isn’t capitalist
That invisible hand can’t reach
A mind that has been scrubbed by bleach

Coats from faux-fox or good looking smocks
Traffic light models stuck showing “walk”
Dead mounted hawks on hard cinder blocks
Crude crayon drawings of all scottish lochs
But my eBay bid
Yeah, my eBay bid
My eBay bid has lost

But there’s one detail I’ve swept under the rug
The eBay programming has lots of bugs
And when you report them you will get a…shrug!
So if your bid will fall through
There is naught you can do

Got in some talks to buy some more lox,
Saw some ex-monks that sold all their frocks
Buying some stocks in the school of hard knocks
Taught me a lesson worse than Iraq’s
But my eBay bid
Yeah, my eBay bid
My eBay bid has lost