I Have to Bill You Now

TTTO “I Have to Kill You Now” by Carla Ulbrich

It was late in the evening,
I was tired, I was ill
I was feeling really groggy,
You took advantage of good will
So you called and we talked for 5 hours
I still remember everything
And before I hung up the phone
I do remember saying

[Chorus]
I have to bill you now
Free advice I can’t allow
You’ll have to pay somehow
I have to bill you now

I could speculate
That this bill will not be paid
If that’s the case, expect a raid
For every hour, that’s my rate
And this is, I think, is where we’re at
Though you’re shocked, I am at ease
If you come into my lab
I will put you on the slab

[Chorus]
I have to bill you now
Free advice I can’t allow
I ain’t a communist, this ain’t Moscow
I have to bill you now

It’s a way some people see me,
This is really serious,
All nice and easy going
Not at all imperious,
What you do is past the border
Of abusing my phone number
So I’m doing this in order
That I will be left to slumber

[Chorus]
I have to bill you now
Free advice I can’t allow
When you get it, you’ll say “ow”
I have to bill you now

So you wonder, did I bill him?
Could this trick be used by you?
I can talk more of these things
But then I’d have to bill you too

[Chorus]
I have to bill you now
Free advice I can’t allow
It’s good advice, so anyhow
I have to bill you now

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