Call my cell

Call my cell
TTTO “You can call me Al”
Paul Simon
(inspired by my boss signing off an IM conversation saying “you can call my cell”)


A man drives down the street
He says why am I lost in the middle now
Why am I lost in the middle
Reading a map is so hard
I need some good directions
I want a piece of advice
Don’t want to end up in circles
Burning my gas out
Gas meter, gas meter
Running on empty
Far away from well-lit home
Mr. honking horn, honking horn
Don’t honk your horn at me
You know I don’t find the street
Where I should have made a right

[Chorus]
If you’ll be available
I can be your G-P-S
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call my cell

A man drives down the street
He says why do I get no signal
One little bar of signal
And woe my calls are so long
Talking to wife and family
What if it dies here
Who’ll be my cell phone
Now that the battery has
Died died
Too far away from antenna
With no connection whatsoever
All alone alone
There were disconnections in the middle
There were lost phone calls disconnecting

[Chorus]

A man drives down the street
It’s a street in a strange world
Maybe it’s the first world
Maybe it’s a strange part of town
He doesn’t know the street names
He folds no maps of this place
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
[spoken]
In one thousand meters, make a right
Then keep left
He looks around, around
He sees street names on the signs
He turns right and hellelujah —

[Chorus]

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