403 Denied

403 Denied
Original: 307 Ale (Tom Smith)


When you surf on the web, me lads, on every site that’s new
There’s 500 internal, 404 not found and the good old 502
There’s 302 and 301 and 300 (is hard to find)
But I think the most annoying one is 403 denied

403 denied, me lads, 403 denied
The most annoying error that on the web you’ll find
It says the file is there but that the web server is blind
403 denied

It started out down in CERN, when a file could not be read
And TBL just had to know it’s not the file is dead
He came up with this brand new code, which spells out “I refuse…
For trying to authenticate, you’ll only get abuse.”

(chorus)

They needed to distinguish it from 401 “who’s you?”
Which means that if you know the code, then you could get value
But with that god-damn 403, you’re left without recourse
Unless it is to vent the rage in poorly-written verse

(chorus)

Now when you surf, and get a link and click it hopefully
If the admin that worked on it put permissions carelessly
He made it chmod’ed -r for the apache group
And now it’s worth less than a pile of icky oozing goop

(chorus)

(slower)
There’s many error codes, me lads, but this one beats them all:
“I have the file, you see, but you’re just talking to a wall —
It won’t help to authenticate, won’t do to try again,
And if you bash the keyboard it will only cause you pain.”

(final chorus)
403 denied, me lads, 403 denied
The most annoying error that on the web you’ll find
It says the file is there but that the web server is blind
It riles and it chafes, for the file, it’s just there,
But that mean old server won’t give a care
It’s good the error is so rare
403 denied

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1 Comment

  1. Jennifer said,

    Ah, yes. The good old “access is denied”. It’s even better when preceded by the word “Forbidden”. We had a vendor site with the occasional “Forbidden: access is denied” message. I used to love to bring it to life with my coworkers with a ghostly “For (pause and drum roll, please)… BIDDEN!!”, a “woo” sound, and trembling hands to give the full effect of the message. I want forbidden access to these 403 pages! 🙂

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